It's not an original or earth-shaking insight to note that bumper stickers are often trite. (How could they not be? It's pretty hard to reduce complex concepts down to a few words that can be absorbed during the limited time spent at a stop light.) Still, I must admit that I almost never fail to read them. They range from those I find mildly amusing -- e.g. Don't Make Me Release the Flying Monkeys! -- to those I find seriously annoying. I've noticed that most of the ones in my seriously annoying category have a "theological" theme. Example: Bible or Murder: Pick One For Your School. I mean, geez! Are those the only two available choices?
Then there is the ubiquitous Never Drive Faster Than Your Angels Can Fly. I can't help but ponder, "Hmm... how fast CAN angels fly?" And, being a competitive person by nature, I consider this to be an interesting challenge. I want to say, "OK, bring it on! Ten bucks says I can make it to Portland before my wussy angels do!"
On the way to work the other morning, I drove behind a car that had two bumper stickers on the back: Coexist and Spay and Neuter. Both are nice ideas, but the fact that they were placed side by side led me to wonder if the driver intended a thinly veiled threat. "You people better get along, or else..."
As for my car, it will continue to be a "bumper sticker free zone". For one thing, I can't think of any one-liner I'd really want displayed. For another, once a sticker is slapped on, it takes a blow torch and a chisel to get it off. Yet, I hope other people keep plastering their cars with bumper stickers. It makes my drive a little more entertaining.
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